Doodles of the Insane

"Something is missing in Life...Guess its Love..." - a month back.. "Everything seems to be here...what else do I need?...." - current state.. I believe, its the book, "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne, had refined my view of the world, my thoughts, my everything. Do read it, if you feel or think you are missing something. Dear friends, I had just completed a mini set of exams and a major one is on the doorstep just waiting for me.. Hope I get to active doodling in some time..

Do you know how it feels? To be left marooned alone.. To be rejected by the one.. Do you know how it feels? To be darkened by the shadows.. To be brightened by the dark.. Do you know how it feels? To be not in the list.. To be in the rest.. Finally I understand the feelings of the rest , & also of those obsessed with the best . Let the Wind decide to where, should it blow.. Let the Stream decide through which way, should it flow.. Let the Gravity decide to which side, should I fall.. Let the Subconscious rule over me, in the battles of the best & the rest.. Let Wisdom & Cognition prevail over intelligence.. Note: Understood best when read with the previous post(its quite small;))

The glass door swung back to its permanent position, as he rushed in the showroom of exquisite clothings. He marched towards the shirts section and asked for some of the best pieces available in the shop. The shopkeeper displayed the best clothes ranging well above the norm, with obviously a delighted face. He picked up two fine shirts from the heap of the best exposed and moved in search of trousers. He chose the matching ones for the preselected shirts and made sure they are of the best quality too. He ordered them to be packed in their respective glamorous boxes and asked for the bill. Some indistinct voices echoing inside his head deafened his ear to the shopkeeper's words. Ignoring them, he payed the bill and walked past the swinging glass door and came into contact with the warm air of non-air conditioned earth. The voices grew louder inside him this time. THE VOICES: " Why do we seek the best ?...Is it just bcoz, you can afford them?....or Is it just bcoz, you wanna exh

Why did I come back, when I had already waved goodbye? This is not the first time, its happening with me. I had fought with people,verbally and mentally(with silence),who mean so much to me in my life, only to find them knock my doors again the next day. I have had no other option but to stand with my arms wide open to welcome them back and forget everything that had spilt on the ground. Bcoz letting them out is just like ripping ur vertebrae out and feeding them to the dogs. For they hold inside them is a part of you, your secrets, your thoughts. And losing them is just weakening yourself. And I come back here to the blogville not for any of the above reason, simply bcoz I had run out of souls to share my soul. I know its just a temporary phase and everyone will have to face the temporary shift. I had myself been involved in consoling people here whenever they feel low and it was just my turn to be in the receiving end. We human beings need something more important than air. Its CARE

A bullet shatters through the cranium.. A sword swings through the vertebrae.. The head departs from the rest.. Brings down the mitosis to an end.. A rolling stone gains momentum.. A rolling head loses its life. Thoughts acted upon by impulses.. Impulses denied by fear.. Fear of failure eludes success.. Fear of death engulfs life.. Fear of life aggravates the desire.. The eternal desire to die.. The will to live dies.. The will to die lives..

I wish to talk my mind to the one.. But I have got none. I wish to blog my mind.. But I haven't got time. I wish to die now.. But I have got burdens. Now I wish to live.. But I sob over my inability. I feel fragile and futile. I am awaiting an ANGEL.. To guide me in the light too.. To hear my inner insane talks.. To perceive the mazes of my mind.. I am awaiting an ANGEL.. But did I avert any already??

So here it ends. A blog that was active for the last 5 months will be less than passive in the near future, maybe in the distant dreams too. The doodler's quill is not broken. His thoughts still intact. His insanity quite a question mark though! But there is something more important to me now. My Life...My career... Most of you here would be knowing that I am a Medico. And I started this blog after finishing my last year's exams. And now its time for me to start preparing for the next. I am out of hibernation to burn fresh calories into neurones. And after the exams I can't promise you about the return. For I will be in my final year and I will hardly find time to read those pillowy books even if I start from day one! Thats what called MBBS! And I never thought I would make this blog a tool for acquiring new friends. I ain't that exciting character who makes friend at a glance of an eyesight or a curve of a smile. But I am glad, I made quite a few here. This place is a

x : I saw this coming. But I never thought, it was lurking this closer. Me :You know, life is unexpected. Just when you are prepared to move on with your life, something waits for you to get you to an another world! Thats really sad... X :Yeah..its true..But did you ever think about me? What am I gonna do without you? I am a heart without blood. I am a book without pages. I am a life without will. I am a life without life. Me :hmmmmmm...I loved you more than myself. You were just a reflection of me. But still, I hated myself and loved you. But the time has come now. My life is without life too. X :Your words are comforting. But why don't you continue comforting me? Me :I wish I stay and keep moving you. But I have to end now. For I have something else precious in my hands. X :whats that more precious than me? Me :Its my life...my career... X :So am I just a passing cloud? Me :No, you are certainly not a passing cloud...you mean so much to me...know that...But nothing sta

“Why don’t you just leave me alone?” he screamed and banged the door shut with a rage that’s killing him cell by cell, tissue by tissue, blood to bones, blood to brain. He is already half dead. A dying dead. Pissed off with things going around him and his life, he dived into his bed desperately trying to reconnoiter his mind, trying to discover something which he had forgotten for some months now, the sleep! He began his usual dose of talking with the God. Someone who happen to peep into his room accidentally would certainly call a mental health physician for help. But, in real, he is not the one who needs the care. Maybe the world, which is smothering his nostrils, choking his lungs, restraining his heart, obstructing his brain that belonged to the next generation, need special mental care. He was simple. The world made him complicated and then cursed his complicacy. “That’s how this planet functions…isn’t it?” he asked. There was no reply. “Why shouldn’t I come with y

Do you know where I am? Do you know where you are? Do you know where we are? The grass isn’t green. The snow isn’t white. The light isn’t bright. The taste isn’t sweet. The atmosphere is strange. The air is misty. The vision is out of range. Your cheeks are thirsty. The sky looks pitch black. The birds don’t seem to fly. There is something the winds lack. Even the hard rocks cry. Is this place, the Mars? No it isn’t. This is something familiar. I had been here before. Losing the skin you possessed. Gaining superficial colors you never need. Exploring the mind you never had. Dreaming about the rainbow you never will have. Do you know where I am? Do you know where you are? Do you know where we are? I am buried alive… You are buried alive… We are buried alive… In our own selves...

The urge was too high to catch, irresistible just like an itch. I knew I couldn't take this anymore, insatiable like a whore. Of anxiety, my fingers shiver, like the waves in the river. But I had to hold on, till I find myself alone. For I can gratify only in solitude, & I love this high altitude. The scene plays back in my mind, with my weapon in the quivery hand. Up & down, In & out; My hand dances with it. The tremors go mild, With my vision ultra wild. Rigidly stays my organ. Words out of none, spills out through the pore, thus ending the encore. The feel of the pen that pierces the papyrus. Its my orgasm!!!! First of all, let me say I just loved the way your mind waved and clinged before your eyes read the last three lines!!:D:D:P:P And maybe it was too exagerrated;) but thats the way poetry are lead by..isn't it?? Finally..friends, this is my 50th post(actually I thought I wouldnot celebrate this 50..I should have done with the previous..yes 49!! afterall th

I had encountered numerous occasions, in my short life, when someone would always ask me to talk something and not to be numb like a comatose patient. In the beginning I would just consider their words and try hard to speak something (believe me.. speaking to someone whom I feel uncomfortable is the worst thing to me.. and the comfortable people in my list is too short.. so almost whole population of the universe counts against the meager) but now I just turn deafened ears towards them. Do people understand me? Yes some do. For some, it could be their love possessing their mind trying to activate me. So do I understand? Yes I do to an extent. Some don’t realize that I am comfortable being numb. They receive a wrong notion that I am pathetic and that I need desperate help. It’s not that. I am damn comfortable here in my shoes and what you are trying to shove into me is what makes me uncomfortable. If I feel like speaking out, I will for sure. I will seek out what I need. I am a Capr

This is where I end after a tired day of traveling and an even more exhausted day of outing in and around Bangalore . Its always good to be home…Everyone knows that…My home is sweet indeed…yet it’s the home of salt for atleast the southern part of India, I guess…Its TUTICORIN(English version) pronounced Thoothukudi in Tamil also known as pearl city…a major harbour city on the southern tip, very close to Sri Lanka…According to our customs(maybe in other races too??), salt accounts for one of the major ingredient of your character…Its rare to see a goiter patient around here…Every land has its own famousness..and this is my home’s…Here you see hard white crystals heaped up just like sand dunes of the desert….from quite a distance it mimics white snow…But don’t expect them…its pretty hot out here!! I am struggling to cope up with the temperature after having been in a place where you rarely need a fan to doze you off to dreams…yet home is something special!! Well I never felt homes

I see in your eyes something malignant. Why don't you spit it out? Right on my face, rather than on my ass. Prick my heart, if that's your choice, from the anterior, though! There's something more worse than hatred, I realize it now, quite late. Its your kiss of indifference, you unleash upon me. The eye of a stranger, you stare at me. Have you lost your past? Didn't our days last? where and why have you gone? Am I incompatible with the souls of the universe? Don't ever prove me wrong! I can move without you. I have shoulders to cry. Hands to hold. Friends to hug. But remember one thing, I never said "Goodbye"..... this post is dedicated to my roomie , for having been on my side through hard times, erasing my loneliness of me, though he didn't know whats going inside me!

A sea uproars to a mighty mountain, Glaciers melt down into the ocean, All to vanity without a trail. All under the time's trial. Clay isn't amiable forever, Only until it turns hard. Sponge doesn't absorb forever, it leaks them out later. There is a limit limiting everything, beyond which it mutates to nothing. You don't remain the same, forever. Neither do I ! I am not what I was. I will not be what I am. I am under the constant spell of metamorphosis. Forever is Never... P.S. this post is a product of being pissed off!

Will you follow my tail? Fly with me Take my wings free. I will take you somewhere, where there is nothing. No air to inhale, No water to quench, No body to be caged in, Nobody to envy, Nobody to hate, Everybody to love. But no way back, Yet you can traverse through the other route. Will you come? You will regret having spilt your blood here. Lets make it a memorable voyage! Falling down the Everest, Crawling through green meadows, Floating above misty clouds, Walking on transparent waters, Sleeping with minds closed, Lets derive joy from oddness. You know, the time, you were born, you didn't know, you were born. Likewise, you wouldn't know this too. Its a pleasure;Its an orgasm! Its a freedom from the bondage! How would immortals taste it? How would mortals know it? Poor world! Pathetic souls! Everything gain significance only after its loss. Its not the same with life, though the same with DEATH. Why do you fear to relish an elixir? Come, Lets invade the next Hell! P.S. I a

Today was not a good day at the college..after all when had it been good when there is a viva?? I hate them so much..Bcoz the reason is I am somewhat poor in practical things..And to know why I am poor in those, my attendance will solve the mystery.. I love studying for theory exams(I really mean it!!).. Basically I love working hard .. I just love those pre-exam days when I go on without a stop for more than 14 hrs a day.. Now in this pre final, we write three subjects viz. ENT, Ophthalmology, PSM(preventive & Social Medicine).. I will appear for those in January ,probably 23rd.. So I just hate these days with no real hard things to do .. I know there's a hell of things to be known yet I don't feel like grabbing them to my brain disk.. Yes I am feeling Lazy!! And coming back to today's exam, I had to record the case from the patient and present it before the professor..the case was recorded well(courtesy:case sheet and friends!!:D:D) and when it came to presenting ,

Where am I dragging this thing ? This thing everyone control, Yet disapprove that they do! With trails left behind Upon the grass green Lost in the arid sand A vicious circle, it had been. Do I know where I go? If I had , I would have been Not a mortal! A step ahead of it! friends!! I had been out of this sphere for some time and will continue being the same till the end of this month(just 3 more days!).For I have to work atleast a bit for the pediatrics exam.So catch you soon after the clouds passes by!Till then logging off!! Jattz

I was comfortably numb & dumb, But this atrocious crust made me succumb! How pure I was in that womb? Will my flesh decay in my tomb? The skin embossed with the spines in line, I knew , I am the porcupine! Of bleeding others , involuntarily, I feel heavy with cardiomegaly! Touching me , Why do you regret? Don't you know , its my reflex? How would you , poor mortal! Only HE knows the way I feel! The sun & the moon takes rest, but my eyes are spared from its zest! Dwelling under this blanket of gloom, now , it has become my doom! I am shutting down my heart! There's none around me unhurt! I don't wish to start to again! I would better end my lively pain! this post is to all the victims of the porcupine[thats me!];I have hurt almost everyone around me, please forgive me!! There's a hell of things pricking inside the porcupine.Trust me!! GOD SAVE ALL!!

Am I the one in a million?? Nope, I am just another simian!! I can see me no more unique; I feel a constant impulse to kick!! Curse My pretence?? I don't know whom to trust!! After all, is this play a must?? Why do I seek the perfect, in a world of rudimentary puppets?? Curse the parasitic world?? Lust dressed in the pseudonym of Love, how many more iniquity do I owe?? I know what matters is the core!! But my blind eyes wanna see more!! Curse the perverted eyes?? This habit of choosing the best & unjustly justifying the rest, Won't it not act unaided without me?? From these Walls, will I ever break free?? Curse the putrid mind? Evilly, living this life of lies, beneath my surface, now nothing lies!! I stand with my arms wide apart, ready to depart!! Curse this predatory life?? Where do we lose our innocence?? Is that deficiency termed ignorance?? My acuity is blurred without a lens; Do I wear my shoes as a penance?? Curse My precarious diplomacy?? To swim in this sea of s

I saw her, on a day I was born, first. From then, none could quench my thirst. she was cute, & I was a brute. yet it was a match made at the celestial abode. It was love at first sight. I sheltered her with all my might. I have laughed,cried,lied,spoken everything to her with my heart open. I thought I would live with her forever. But it all ended in no where. She was more than a friend. But all good things come to an end. May be I was holding her too tight. Now, I've to be an insomniac at night. Tell me where did you go? To the high Heaven or the Hell so low? For I've to ask you, "Did you ever love me??"

Of the music, the purest, Betwixt the souls, the rarest, The spell of scintillating silence. To hurt, do I've the license? To coagulate,I nipped the bud, To hire peace in the bed. The dead dreams, of my sight, Now I wonder whether its right? When I see you, let me be blind! I don't wish my heart to grind! From the inside of my head, I hear two, of which I am confused which is true? The bleed is now indocile. I am sick of being a missile, that penetrates other's leaf. Do these sins count to my life?

Prologue: What do you think of medicos??They are exceptional hard workers striving for more than 18 hrs a day and barely sleep the stipulated 6 hrs.Brilliant,bright,eminent,excellent etc..Is this what you think of medicos?? If yes, give a second thought and read the following with eyes wide open.If no, still you will have to read with eyes slightly open atleast the epilogue. Inside the four walls , there were some teenagers sitting in rows and columns deserting the anterior segments of the wooden furnitures. Most of them were staring into a black painted canvas where the eldest of the experienced campaigner was playing his magic with one hand with the brush and his cacophonous yet seducing voice from his habituated vocal cords. 1-Behind the empty front row of wood, some look as if being hypnotized by the spell of the professor. As calm as the wise, rock as the diamond , they stay unmoved, uninhibited even by the flies ,parked over their nose ,showering the millions of infectious path

So friends , I am back with my blog dressed in a new wear.Hope you people like it.And about the break, I have returned prematurely for sure.I have no justifications to justify why I left and why I come back. May be my senses are getting a bit degenerated. May be I am really getting reformed into an insane!Tolerate with me and my insanity once again friends.... I start with a tag left in my desk pending, passed on by Vitruvian @ Sneha Padmanabhan . This is not that hard as all I have to do is scribble some 8 facts about myself.Moreover this is my first tag and I have enough patience to do atleast this.So let me recollect my history.Here it goes.... 1 -I was born on 14th January 1987 in southern Tamil Nadu(India).Its a special date in southern India bcoz its when we celebrate PONGAL in Tamil Nadu and UGADHI in other states such as Karnataka and Andhra Pradesh and I have little knowledge abt Kerala . I have never celebrated my birthday in school or college due to the reason I was born on

I could hardly come out for a tea these days.Its pouring down in tons unexpectedly.And my mind has been strangely out of thoughts peacefully.The atmosphere is so gloomy.And I am gonna take a short break till the mother nature plays on my side inspiring my thoughts to more posts. And I might not be sailing through your shores for a while.I am exiled out of my mind.Will return soon.... P.S. the doodler is known for his stable mind which shivers as much as his heart at a rate of 72 beats per minute.He will be back any time.

Thud!! Thud!! Thud!! Marched the black army above, with the spears aimed below... This is a war, & Earth is what they mar... This is a battle, & life is what they unsettle... There blew the siren, that shiver us to frighten... Scouting the fragile part, the recruited arrows depart... sssssshhhh!! ssssssshhhh!! They shade the sky in infinite... The living stare at so polite... Defenseless the men surrender, & the victorious defeat they suffer... In every good there is some bad, & the bad make them sad... This between the heaven & the mankind, leaves a million memories rewind... Its time to welcome the monsoon, for its our greatest boon!! P.S. for those who still toil under the sun raining rays, the brigade is already on the way:)

The sun was back deep under the ocean.It was now the turn of the moon.And the yellow monochrome light faded into dusky white and the shadows vanished into oblivion.The bright blue of the sea into dark black echoing the poorly inflamed orb. On the other side of the ocean were a couple of shadows crawling on the lonely shores.Of their shadows ,one was lengthier and the other a bit shorter.But the shadows of their souls were very much similar and seemed to merge inside each other. ZOOMING IN VIA GOOGLE EARTH... After a brief walk on the sand hardened by the galloping tears of the ocean, we turned back to see our own footprints fighting to triumph over the waves of time.I said, " we will last an eternity living in serenity" , the only time I used my tongue to converse ,that evening. She smiled at me and we held hands and walked towards the small table, interlocked. TRIIIINGGGGG....screeched something in my pocket.I took it out and switched it off. "Honey , what was that?&

Lying down on the floor, staring into the roof, I realized some precious pieces precociously .It was....you need to have a velocity greater than that of the blades of the fan to travel through it ,unhurt. And I believe my velocity need to get amplified a ton times. Otherwise I would end up without blood in my heart and the rest oozing from my skin(I am damn sensitive!!) Today I realized who was the real innocent.Its not the girl with whom I ended my affair in a spell of elongated unspoken silence. Today I realized who was the real ignorant.Its not my sweet dear sister, who frustrates & annoys me with her skills of questioning. Unfortunately its me!! Innocence & Ignorance are the two eyes of a fool(Am I right??). And so it goes without saying , I end up as a fool, a loser!!Anyhow I can soothe my inside my saying this is not the end ;Just a bend; I am still running the race and I won't lose my pace!! Life is all about learning, experiencing and of course living. What did I

Yesterday night, when I browsed through the comments as usual on my Nokia 3230, I was not a bit astonished.In fact I was amazed a lot. Bcoz I was handed the THINKING BLOGGER AWARD by Neo which in turn was awarded by Rajeev .Both of whom I admire a lot for their capabilities to pen down phenomenal poems(Neo) and crispy yet stunning short stories(Rajeev). Now getting back to the day(actually it was a night) when I gave birth to this blog , I remember my Mom scolding me to get off the computer and to spend some time on the bed(Now its the reverse, I spend the whole day on my bed in this gloomy icy climate!!).I let my Mom's words traverse through the auditory canal of one and out through the other. And the result is this DOODLES OF THE INSANE . Its just 3 months old( Neonatal ) and I believe this comes pretty premature for an amateur(ppl is my ego inflated?? Dont mind atleast for today!!lol).I see those days with my comments zero , posts unread , blog unnoticed ,the doodler unkn

Hanging by the watch's minute hand, we were exploring our own land; Too slowly crawled the clock, Our brains were fixed in a block; The state of steadiness measured in terms of pegs, we flew around with wings pinned to our legs; Out came the words from the inside, that crenelated the heart in vitro quite wide; From dumb to a chatter box, cowardice to courage, this OH-fluid made our neurones outrage; Our souls confessed our sins kneeling down, Yet our exterior dressed in the mask of a clown; We see an aureole around every face, bcoz the Inner God emerges out from the surface; We let ourselves ruled by the uninhibited subconscious, and slaughter our cruel inhibited conscious;

Blinded by the celestial flash of light, that turns my black eye glittering white; Deafened by the raucous roars of the sky, that soars the rapturous decibels so high; Captivated by the aroma of the wet earth, that equals a million flower's worth; Drenched by the drops of transparent pearls, that organizes a beautiful play in whorls; Dumbstruck by the drama, the sphere so luminous, clouded by opacities hides beneath my eyes!

Give me a log of wood, You will see my face bathed in blood!! Give me a cruel whip, my torso will bear a tough grip!! Give me an apical dagger, my heart will exhibit a hollow bigger!! Give me a fiery gun, You will witness in my abdomen none!! My life vanishes under the hard bricks, and in the corner my death dangerously lurks!! The will to live dies , and the will to die lives!!

I logged into my own blog today to be greeted by a noxious scent , swarming mosquitoes breeding plasmodium species inside them , a dozen of flying foxes suspended upside down feeding their rotten fruits , eight legged creatures weaving their tensile web to try their luck for lunch , diverse alienated members of the phylum Arthropoda , a couple of snakes dancing and exhibiting their lethal fangs!! GUESS WHY?? My blog had been stagnant for a while now!! Beware !! I feel very much like my blog , stagnant. I feel like struck somewhere. The world seems to be paused to me. But I know its playing back behind my back. I had been lonely this week ,with my roomie gone home. Alone I sat & ate; Alone I walked & talked; Alone I slept & wept; Alone I lived in my world; And I realized loneliness is no longer a bliss. The Inner God (the subconscious I mean ;I prefer to call that way) radiates countless questions and oodles of puzzles towards me , to which I remain a deaf & dumb. The co

The time was dark and it was about to witness the first light of day. And a soul was wandering in this remorseless sphere , lost. Tired of its night duty , the moon whispered to its clan to take over the work of illuminating the life of all the souls. And so came the light of dawn . And so the light in numerous people's life.I know I am one among them, now.But not then. The place was smelling malodorous(of the fluid that keeps every one alive!) ; May be thats why people were masked there .But once you stand in there for 10 minutes , you will realize that its not that bad! Bcoz you will either get adapted to the stinky scent or you will lose your consciousness to test your olfactory senses. There in the centre was a cot , a specialized one for an act ; A Godly act; Above the cot were multiple spot lights suspended in air , as if they gonna crash down any moment.The lights were similar to the stadium floodlights illuminating the field but here it was to enlighten the process,

Staring at the death , inevitable he still believes, he is capable; The present and the past has been a sorrow; And there will be no tomorrow; He scanned around for a light that would save his plight; It was dark all around and a star fell to the ground; Its intensity adulterated with evil; Now to live , he has to kill; In this survival race, the weak lose their face; The parasite invades the host; An upsurge among the pest; On a wrong axis, the people revolve; His dark soul will never evolve; From the bad , the good deflects; From his body , the malignant image reflects; He lives a day more at the cost of an inocent core!

Let me thank Neo for his fired prescription on my doodle entitled " Gloomy paralysis ".For it has provoked me to utilize his question as the source for this post. Neo said... what makes u think that gettin that special gal wud make ur life better?!! May 7, 2007 10:54 AM So I discovered the answer squeezing my frontal lobes with the hard skull.The word desire means "to wish or long for".We all carry bags and loads of desire through out our life and it is those desires which make us travel towards the horizon. The desires get transformed into dreams which further metamorphose into our deeds that ultimately decides our life. We all have a desire to see the unseen We all have a desire to know the unknown. We all have a desire to hear the unheard. We all have a desire to feel the unfelt. We all have a desire to explore the unexplored. We all have a desire to experience the unexperienced. We all have a desire to conquer the unconquered. We all have a desire

It has been a perfect day so far today; Although I have just gone half way through it, I beleive its gonna be the same for the rest of the day.Bcoz when you start well , you have a higher probability of finishing well. After being inspired by the spiderman III movie(I don’t get why people didn’t like this movie?? Its better than the previous two and the best)late night ,I dozed off into a sleep and I still couldn't make out what my brain was thinking about or where I was taken to in my dreams. And the dream thrived unconsciously but successfully ..Here it goes .. Time 6:01AM – My mobile vibrates beneath my pillow and sends a shrieking burst through out my body.I have been used to these kind of threats which disturb my sleep and I make a quick decision whether to snooze or stop my mobile alarm.And I press the left hand soft key SNOOZE. Time 6:06AM – It vibrates and shrieks again. This time I choose the right hand soft key STOP.This five minutes of sleep in between is the time when I

I end up everyday now in this week exhausted suffering from the gloomy paralysis which is deteriorating my gray matter very much. I have been living a Zombie's life recently. There are so many wishes inside ;so many words unsaid ;so many thoughts unidentified ;so many things inhibited ;so so many ... Let me jot down my wishes ... I wish I had no TV in my room... I wish I had some music to lose myself into it... I wish MANCHESTER UNITED win the champions league... I wish more and more people read my blog... I wish I had a connectivity to the world and other people's mind... I wish my life had more meaning... I wish there were some people in my vicinity to talk... I wish I had that special girl... So many wishes inside ...Its getting saturated inside...the fullness wont help either...It needs a blank, an emptiness to which I know not how to travel...Its rightly said " the more you talk the less juice your life will have ".My juice is terribly low. The only peace I hav

PLEASE READ WITH PATIENCE !! I woke up today pretty early around 8 AM(yeah!! its early for me) due to the peristaltic activity of my intestine(thats the best alarm that works on me!!).I finished brushing and left my torso in a semi inclined position in which I used to browse the channels of the small lovable idiot box. And I revolved one complete 360 degree revolution of channels through the device held in my hand. I stumbled upon the OPRAH show in STAR WORLD and there was a curious strange guest enlightening(really not enlightening!!crying her sorrows out!!) the show. Her name was Jenny Burton aged just 28 but she had already undergone 26 plastic surgeries !! Some 2 on her eyelids , 3 on her nose(it seems first she wanted a nose like Michael Jackson, then like Jennifer Lopez and then someone else) , 2 on her lips , 5 on her breasts , liposuction on her tummy , arms and many more which I don't remember now. She said it has become an addiction now and obsessed with it!! Who knows

Tiny ants , Puny bees, buzzing non-stop, to get atop; Nevertheless they have to fail, for the capitalists prevail; Eternally struck in the pyramid's base, what they own is a lace; They,the core of the nation, but, futile is the notion; Few know they route the motion of the economy with passion; some strive by the sweat of the brow; Others execute by the sweat of the brain ; These work by the sweat of Red;

And finally the wait for my results came to an end on the friday evening ,when I was getting ready for another small test the next day .. Abandoning the meager quest in hand , I explored my wardrobe for a lucky shirt and got dressed up and flew down the stairs to my vehicle .. I reached the same cyber cafe where I am typing in now .. The atmosphere was different the other day , buzzing with my college mates anxious to know the aftermaths of what we wrote in 2 months ago;to know what books we would be reading the next 3 months;to know whether the phase II of MBBS occupies one and a half or two years;to know our fate and the destiny; Our Rajiv Gandhi university is famous for many things but certainly for its website, which loads at an astonishing rate of 0.000001 byte per second !!(Really Sucks) And so we had to wait for ages to get our fates naked before our eyes .. And when I felt my beard have grown a bit and my nails too , I typed in 04M2476 in the box and clicked the submit

Balloons of empty gases, Bubbles of opaque vapors, Boulders of unknown matters, Blown by the Almighty. Shades of blue, Shades of white, Shades of black, Alloyed up by the Immortal. The constant blue canvas, The inconsistent White masses, Some rigid; Some frail; Some fumigated; Some flagellated; Some punctured; Some obliterated; Some fused; Some solitary; Some bright under the sun; Some dark under the shadows; At times , pigmented dark that sobs to mop the tears of some; Elicits the moods of some;Reflects the blue of the big pond; Arduous to detect the horizon interbred; These designs stationary but mobile, painted by the Master ought to be His Masterpiece , The SKY & the CLOUDS..

Some months back , I purchased two books by Paulo Coelho from a roadside shop .. Their names VERONIKA DECIDES TO DIE and BY THE RIVER PIEDRA I SAT AND WEPT .. The former one is all about INSANITY and the latter about LOVE .. I never expected it to prove my title "IN SANE IS INSANE" but fortunately it did .. After the hard work I spent for my II year exams , my mind deserved the inner peace which it acquired by reading VERONIKA DECIDES TO DIE .. I was in a sort of addiction to Paulo Coelho's words and thoughts after losing myself to his LIKE THE FLOWING RIVER .. and the book didn't let me down .. But it took a long time to complete this book .. It traveled with me to Kodaikanal absorbing the scorching heat of Madurai ,lying on the dashboard of our car, through the course of travel and emitting it back in the cool hill station trying to keep itself warm ..Finally I had to finish reading it in the back benches of my PSM(preventive and social medicine) class - the mo