Doodles of the Insane

                 Has it ever occurred to you that, beyond those borders, there are men, women and children of God, just like you and me! Men, struggling hard for their livelihood.. Men, saving their hard earned money, for a better tomorrow.. Men and women, procreating a future generation, that is free from the evil clutches of war and terrorism.. Children going to school, everyday, so that they could bring an end to their parent's poverty.. Teenagers, falling in love with their hearts and hoping for a way out of this forsaken place, before it eventually claims their lives.. Parents, worrying about their kids, if they would ever return home, safely or end up being blown into pieces by a suicide bomber.. Elderly people, reminiscing their good old days of Hindustan before partition.. and wishing "how these 70 odd years of separation could turn out to be a nightmare, from which, they are desperate to wake up ...

I have waited too long  and too deep, unaware of where  I had been dragged all along; into these slippery swamps  and boggy marshlands.  I am drowning and immersing  into the matrix; and soon will be lost in limbo, if I don't realize that its my gravity of weight,  that's pulling me down; and its my own choices,  that's gripping me tighter into the dark abyss of oblivion. Trapped in between peace and morality, Sandwiched between Hopes and fears, Reeling between Selfishness and altruism,  I want to seek only one simple answer,  self-love or selfless love? Should I love you or love me, first? Because I cant save us both.. Its either Me or You.. So What do I choose? You or Me? And Why would or should  I  choose You over Me? Because,  Waiting for you is like  Waiting for the mirage.

Exam hall is not a silent place, ironically. Some are real and some are hallucinatory. I intend to capture the mind voices inside an exam hall, here in my own imagination., as I was blessed to be invigilator on a valentine’s day. The following are mind voices of the students at various stages of the exam. Immediately after entering the hall.. “. . Dear God, you have been kind enough to me, in all the previous papers. So I took advantage of your kindness and came unprepared, hoping that you would help me, as always. You, omnipresent God, present everywhere, in the Pillar, in the Wall, in the pen, in the paper, in my friend sitting next to me,   even in the invigilator, just don't desert me in desperate times! . .”   - The Optimist   “. . all the previous exams have been tough; So I don't expect me to clear it through this year. So I don't believe a prayer would get me through. But still, just for the sake of my stupid customary beliefs, I am prayi...

We all yearn for a sense of belonging, so that we could fit in snugly and cozily, in a world of rudimentary misfits.   And that’s where our search for something or someone meaningful starts. Our venture into the unexplored universe becomes an adventure, sooner or later, depending on our luck, fate and destiny. Sometimes, we seek the hidden meaning and at other times, the meaning tries to seek us. And we get lost in this maze of unending speculations and prolonged probabilities and clumsy conundrums. And we tend to label that maze as life simply because we can never define life. We all love to be understood. We try to understand others to be loved. But all are not lucky as the selected few. Because people are “classified” on various types and indices.   I have to bring in this quote by Carl Jung to drag this topic to where I want to. This has become my latest obsession since few weeks and I can’t just let it go. After a serious of attempts to understand my...

A father-son relationship is never easy to comprehend unlike a father-daughter or a mother-son or a mother-daughter. Because this is between two men. And men never open up that easily to an another man. Maybe because most men are not emotional outwardly atleast, most of the time, although they have enough of it inwards stagnant like a dam behind the shutter doors. So you wont get to see the public display of affections or the cheesy moments but every essential emotion and feeling exists in an invisible spectrum which can only be sensed by subtle body languages or gestures.   The gulf between a father and a son usually starts drifting in the early childhood of the son, when the father works tirelessly for the upliftment of his whole family. This can never be understood by the child for he wants his time with his dad. But as the son ascends up through his ages, he will understand the pains, his father had put in to bring the whole family to a respectable position in the s...

கிழிந்த விண்திரையின் வழியே  பிதுங்கி வெளியேறும் ஒளிக்கீற்று, ஆர்ப்பரத்திக் கொண்டு செவ்வானத்தில் அழகாய் வண்ணத்திரைப்போல் காட்சி! எங்கே செல்கிறோம் என்ற வினா, மனதின் உள்ளே!  அகம் திறந்தால், விடை திரையில்! “சென்று வருகிறேன்” என்று விடை பெறும் தலைவனைப் போல் உருகி மருகித் தவிக்கும் சூரியன். “வந்து விடுவாய் அல்லவா நாளையும்” என்ற ஏக்கத்துடன் வழியனுப்பும் தாயைப் போல் இந்த மாலைப்பொழுது! “நீ வந்தால் மட்டுமே நான் எழுவேன்” என்ற பிடிவாதத்துடன் நீண்டத் துயில் உறங்கச் செல்லும்  தலைவியாய் அந்த காலைப்பொழுது! இந்த முக்கோண மர்மக் காதலினை புரிந்து கொள்ள இயலாமுலும், ரசித்து கொள்ள இயலாமுலும், தினம் தினம் மாறடித்து கொண்டு இருக்கிறோம், இந்த சுந்தர வாழ்க்கையை, மனிதர்களாய்! மூடர்களாய்!  - ஓர் சூர்யஸ்தமமுடன் நான்

I strictly don’t want this blog to become an yet another travel blog, just because I travel a lot. So I am not going into the details of the pilgrimage trip, I just made. On the contrary, I would like to throw some light into myself about the complicated state of my religious views.   As children, most of us all were raised to believe in a non-existent “God”. Sometimes by our parents, sometimes by our grand-parents. That’s how our brain gets programmed at an early age. We were trained to hold our hands together and ask for our wishes with closed eyes, because we can’t see the God; We can only feel him! (we were told so and so we believed). Some knelt down on their knees and looked up with open arms. Others knelt down with closed arms and lighted a candle.   And as years passed, this formed a new neuronal circuit in our brains, such that whenever we enter a temple, our hands assumed their position without any regulation, like an automated machinery. It beca...