Inhibition

What runs in the back of the human mind has always been a mystery. Right now, a hundred thoughts flash through me. But I don’t pen them all down for you to read. I have my own filters and inhibitions, according to the people and the circumstances, I am engrossed in. Inhibition is a complicated process. Why do we feel inhibited and what factors affect our inhibitions? Lets explore the plethora of possibilities, uninhibited.

Inhibition has to be an evolutionary adaptation, we acquired en route to our current confusing stand. Tracing back, the cavemen roamed around freely and naked throughout their lifetime, like animals. Unlike the present day animals, we have changed, in the name of social and cultural conditioning.

When I mean, being naked, it necessarily doesn't mean just the body but also the nakedness of the mind or the soul. The social and cultural conditioning of the body brought us an enormous fashionable array of clothes catering to each an every part of our body. The same conditioning of the mind built imaginary walls, illogical boundaries and classified people on every criteria possible. We were taught to lie, deceive, conceal, suppress, repress, please, mask in order to survive. Because that’s the motto of this game - “the survival of the fittest” - which again, is self proclaimed.

So, we lied to others and ourselves. 

We deceived others and felt proud about it.

We suppressed our true feelings and developed psychosis and neurosis.

We pleased others to make them happy and sacrificed our own happiness.

We forgot our own uniqueness and tried to blend in with the society.

We thought it was safe to be with the majority. 

We created boundaries inside and outside our minds and restricted ourselves from free flowing.

We built high walls and guarded our secrets safely inside.

We put on a daily mask and lead a pseudo life.

What has all these created in ourselves? 

A sense of duality inside us. 

We want to do something, but we won’t do it, because of this conflict of duality inside us.

This is where we became experts in masking, hiding and suppressing our true-selves. And sometimes, we were rewarded, for not being ourselves, in an attempt to pacify our own truth. All these cumulatively has lead us to this path, where we feel content with inhibiting our true-self, on the universal path to death. 

But how long, can we hold on to this mundane path, is the real awakening question. Definitely, not forever! There starts our epic journey in pursuit of happiness, liberation and other metaphysical stuffs.

The label of happiness leads us to find a person with whom we can shed our inhibitions. That ultimately becomes a tricky job which might or never get fulfilled.

The label of liberation leads us to find means to break down those walls of inhibitions, even forcibly. Alcohol and other substance abuse fit in this perfectly for the lost and confused. Maybe that’s why people get addicted to these, initially. Its not because people are fond of these hard to drink liquors. Maybe its because we are fond of losing inhibitions and live in an unreal fantasized world, as our true-selves.

In short, we are fond of losing reality and constantly seeking means to achieve it. Be it a substance abuse or through a relationship or through solitary confinement/ Meditation/ Nirvana.

Have you wondered, how uninhibited we are all, when we are alone in a room. We sing and dance and behave as we wish, because there’s no need to please or satisfy anyone in there. And we feel happy being genuinely ourselves.

If we carefully observe our pattern of life, we will wonder about how sophisticated we are all in converting simplicity into complexity. Consider, for example, as a baby is born, raw and pure without any concepts or knowledge. We condition and mould the baby’s mind with social and cultural conditioning in the name of “Civilization” and “Raising up” simultaneously building up inhibitions inside. As and when the baby becomes an adult and starts to think on its own, the adult realizes one simple and profound truth - “Everything is fucked up”. Now the adult has to unlearn all the conditions and reach its nascent and unpolluted state, the baby was in, once upon a time, destroying the prejudices and bigotries of the civilized mind.

Learning as a child and unlearning as an adult becomes the part and parcel of our lives. 

Why not keep the slate, clean, as such?

Why not simplify rather than complicate life?

Why not be transparent and naked rather than inhibited by yourself?

Why prefer the constant chaotic conflicts of duality when an omnipresent singularity of truth is an easier option?

P.S. Quarantine diaries - Heavily influenced by Osho, Yuval and other craps, I read.