Fear of Life

By at

A bullet shatters through the cranium..
A sword swings through the vertebrae..
The head departs from the rest..
Brings down the mitosis to an end..

A rolling stone gains momentum..
A rolling head loses its life.

Thoughts acted upon by impulses..
Impulses denied by fear..

Fear of failure eludes success..
Fear of death engulfs life..
Fear of life aggravates the desire..
The eternal desire to die..

The will to live dies..
The will to die lives..

Comments

Sophiagurl said…
Life sometimes seems a formidable force, too hot to handle. But I know that human resilience persists even through the toughest times...you will too!

why are you not fine? what's wrong doc?
November 2, 2007 at 8:32 PM
Jeya Anand said…
Yes...thats how i had survived till now...

I feel like a rotten piece of decaying matter...I feel like there's nothing in me to live...terribly low...
November 3, 2007 at 11:03 AM
Anonymous said…
HEY CHEER UP! YOU GUNNA MAKE ME CRY!!!!!!!! I FEEL LIIKE THAT ALOT TOO THOUGH!!!!!!
November 3, 2007 at 11:07 AM
Jeya Anand said…
kaylee...
Lets console each other then...:)
November 3, 2007 at 11:15 AM
Anonymous said…
GOoD IDEA :)
November 3, 2007 at 11:42 AM
Shyama said…
i gues life has its ups n downs... but it cnt be nite forever can it? i know it may sound cliched but every dark cloud has its silver linin n u may not see the silver linin today or tom... mite even take months! but u will see it one day... im talkin outta experience...

hope everythin works out 4 u... tcz...
November 3, 2007 at 7:25 PM
Shyama said…
P.S. the pic above used to be my wallpaper for my desktop once upon a tym.. but i saw the silver linin of da cloud... n now ive changed the wallpaper... :)
November 3, 2007 at 7:28 PM
Anonymous said…
welcome back dude!!! dont quit this time!!!!
November 3, 2007 at 7:52 PM
Pallav said…
Heh, the problem with suicide is that you can't blog about it later ;)

Guns are cool though, swords have an art to them...dying in my book should be an adventure :)

N
November 3, 2007 at 8:31 PM
Shyama said…
@ N : lol, ur supposed to be talkin him outta it... :P
November 3, 2007 at 9:27 PM
Impressionist said…
whats wrong brotha!?
something wrong!? eh?
good to have u back man!, i hope ur here to stay this time! :0

peace & love
Jeevy
November 4, 2007 at 12:02 AM
Sophiagurl said…
Hi Jeya, your friends here in the blogosphere are here for you. we could listen to your ramblings...you can write it down too. Helps clear the head when you write it down.

God bless! Life will get better you'll see!
November 4, 2007 at 9:30 AM
Anonymous said…
hey nice poem! you are back with a 'bang'....pun intended...
November 4, 2007 at 6:22 PM
Keshi said…
Life is not to be feared...its to be embraced, no matter how many times we fall...we can always get up, dust ourselves n keep on walking right?

Keshi.
November 5, 2007 at 9:42 AM
Jeya Anand said…
shimmer...
the same pic as ur wallpaper?? thats quite strange!! And u see I have got better too....Thanks a lot to my Home trip!!:) and of course to ur kind words!!

Ashu..
Thank you..I dont wish to...:)

N...
Man u are always witty with ur remarks;) Death is an adventure in mine tooo;)
November 5, 2007 at 11:58 PM
Jeya Anand said…
jeevy...
everything is fine now:)At home now!!

sophigurl...
yeah thats what i am gonna do....I a m gonna free my mind...not gonna torture myself, but torture my readers:D:D: just kidding!!

lover....
;)thanks dude...

keshi...
Right keshi...Spot on...
Its great to have u back!!:)
November 6, 2007 at 12:06 AM
Post a Comment

Dig into the past

Marooned with my Mind..

By at
Image
Six months back, I found my life spiraling back into yet another black hole and so I was lost in a limbo. I tried to regain myself with various modalities of rejuvenation. I researched about the different types of meditation techniques available and came upon this name called “Vipassana”. It rang a bell somewhere in the corner of my mind. As I traced the origin of the sounds, I realized that one of my favorite author Yuval Noah Harari (author of sapiens) had recommended the same in his recent book, “21 Lessons for the 21st century” and found it a life changing experience. So I dug more into this ancient technique called “Vipassana Meditation”, said to be discovered by Buddha and transmitted across centuries by a line of dedicated teachers. Vipassana literally means awareness of sensations. The main things that attracted me to this meditation was that it was non-religious(open to all religion) and non-commercial(completely free).But the rules of the course were scary. It ...
Read more

Just Hate This!

By at
Today was not a good day at the college..after all when had it been good when there is a viva?? I hate them so much..Bcoz the reason is I am somewhat poor in practical things..And to know why I am poor in those, my attendance will solve the mystery.. I love studying for theory exams(I really mean it!!).. Basically I love working hard .. I just love those pre-exam days when I go on without a stop for more than 14 hrs a day.. Now in this pre final, we write three subjects viz. ENT, Ophthalmology, PSM(preventive & Social Medicine).. I will appear for those in January ,probably 23rd.. So I just hate these days with no real hard things to do .. I know there's a hell of things to be known yet I don't feel like grabbing them to my brain disk.. Yes I am feeling Lazy!! And coming back to today's exam, I had to record the case from the patient and present it before the professor..the case was recorded well(courtesy:case sheet and friends!!:D:D) and when it came to presenting , ...
Read more

Alone...

By at
Image
“Why don’t you just leave me alone?” he screamed and banged the door shut with a rage that’s killing him cell by cell, tissue by tissue, blood to bones, blood to brain. He is already half dead. A dying dead. Pissed off with things going around him and his life, he dived into his bed desperately trying to reconnoiter his mind, trying to discover something which he had forgotten for some months now, the sleep! He began his usual dose of talking with the God. Someone who happen to peep into his room accidentally would certainly call a mental health physician for help. But, in real, he is not the one who needs the care. Maybe the world, which is smothering his nostrils, choking his lungs, restraining his heart, obstructing his brain that belonged to the next generation, need special mental care. He was simple. The world made him complicated and then cursed his complicacy. “That’s how this planet functions…isn’t it?” he asked. There was no reply. “Why shouldn’t I come with y...
Read more

Opportunistic Pathogen

By at
Staring at the death , inevitable he still believes, he is capable; The present and the past has been a sorrow; And there will be no tomorrow; He scanned around for a light that would save his plight; It was dark all around and a star fell to the ground; Its intensity adulterated with evil; Now to live , he has to kill; In this survival race, the weak lose their face; The parasite invades the host; An upsurge among the pest; On a wrong axis, the people revolve; His dark soul will never evolve; From the bad , the good deflects; From his body , the malignant image reflects; He lives a day more at the cost of an inocent core!
Read more

In sane is Insane

By at
Some months back , I purchased two books by Paulo Coelho from a roadside shop .. Their names VERONIKA DECIDES TO DIE and BY THE RIVER PIEDRA I SAT AND WEPT .. The former one is all about INSANITY and the latter about LOVE .. I never expected it to prove my title "IN SANE IS INSANE" but fortunately it did .. After the hard work I spent for my II year exams , my mind deserved the inner peace which it acquired by reading VERONIKA DECIDES TO DIE .. I was in a sort of addiction to Paulo Coelho's words and thoughts after losing myself to his LIKE THE FLOWING RIVER .. and the book didn't let me down .. But it took a long time to complete this book .. It traveled with me to Kodaikanal absorbing the scorching heat of Madurai ,lying on the dashboard of our car, through the course of travel and emitting it back in the cool hill station trying to keep itself warm ..Finally I had to finish reading it in the back benches of my PSM(preventive and social medicine) class - the mo...
Read more

The Mirage

By at
Image
You wave your hand & she waves it back.. You say "Hello" & she responds.. You twinkle your eyes & she winks at you.. You try to smile & she widens her's.. You start to believe that she is the one to relieve & re-live your lived out life.. With memories overgrown, and dreams over-spun, You try to chase her down, but she eludes you on her own. And at that point of gravity, you realize her.. Her voice as your echoes.. Her physique as your replica.. Her eyes as yours, reflected.. Her smile as yours, faked.. Her kiss as yours, squeezed.. Her love as nothing but all yours, undiminished.. And then you realize her.. And then you realize you & your virtual solitude, you live in.
Read more