Gloomy Paralysis

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I end up everyday now in this week exhausted suffering from the gloomy paralysis which is deteriorating my gray matter very much. I have been living a Zombie's life recently. There are so many wishes inside ;so many words unsaid ;so many thoughts unidentified ;so many things inhibited ;so so many ...
Let me jot down my wishes ...
I wish I had no TV in my room...
I wish I had some music to lose myself into it...
I wish MANCHESTER UNITED win the champions league...
I wish more and more people read my blog...
I wish I had a connectivity to the world and other people's mind...
I wish my life had more meaning...
I wish there were some people in my vicinity to talk...
I wish I had that special girl...
So many wishes inside ...Its getting saturated inside...the fullness wont help either...It needs a blank, an emptiness to which I know not how to travel...Its rightly said "the more you talk the less juice your life will have".My juice is terribly low. The only peace I have now is the sleep when my mind goes to the same .And at all other times the incoherent , meaningless , unstoppable , unrestrainable , uncontrollable , crazy inner talk is murdering my soul mercilessly. I have no technology to tame it. The loneliness I loved once , is getting above the lethal dose I guess .I am experiencing the peak of loneliness . If this continues , I will not exist to publish my next post. I will disintegrate .

I wish I had my special girl .But my nutty mind keeps on lying to my soul that "I am alright and I don't need her". I know I am to blame for everything that has happened so far.I have punctured and stabbed two hearts so far for my selfishness, I believe. No wonder the curse of those hearts are bloodthirsty.

I wasn't feeling the same last week...Exactly the antonym of what I am going through now...Life is such a vicious cycle...The only thing which provides me the much needed bliss now is the song by Nelly Furtado

"Flames to dust ..
Lovers to friends ..
Why do all good things come to an end?"

Comments

Impressionist said…
U dont have any music to lose urself!??!
in need of a spl girl huh! hmm...

peace & love
JeeVY
May 7, 2007 at 9:41 AM
Ravisekharan (a) Ravi said…
hey man, U've bin rockin in d prevoius 3 posts.. they were all enticing!! gr8 going dude!!

And coming to the last post,

y did u suddenly turn emotional..? ha ha!!
Anywayz!!, Looking fwd, from u, the name of dat SPECIAL GAL.. :)
May 7, 2007 at 10:17 AM
N@nc! said…
Hey!!! Nice post!
I really Identify with it!
I also need something that my life has sense. Its always the same boring days...lol!

Kisses
great work.
May 7, 2007 at 2:58 PM
bornfortheu.s.a said…
what makes u think that gettin that special gal wud make ur life better?!!
May 7, 2007 at 11:24 PM
Incrediblyirrational said…
cheer up dude. you get to live noly once,dn't waste your time on wishing. jsut go on and do what you want to do.
May 8, 2007 at 2:08 AM
Incrediblyirrational said…
you'll have to excuse my typos. i'm having problems with my left brain.it can't contrl my reckless fingers :P
May 8, 2007 at 2:14 AM
Incrediblyirrational said…
afterall nice things do happen. see, i've linked you too!!! :) :) :)
May 8, 2007 at 2:18 AM
Jeya Anand said…
#rajeev
Yeeah man..My modes to the music is not set right at the moment .got to get it right soon..Yes i need her sometimes...I feel like..

#ravi
Thanks da machaan...Man is an emotional animal ..and I m one ..

#soul&body
Thanks buddy...U always identify my posts ..bcoz we are all of a same species...hehehhe

#neo
We all have a desire to see new things ..feel new things..
The same new desire makes me feel so to equip my armoury with experience..

#nithya
Hmmmm that makes a lot of sense...hehheehe wats ur brain suffering from?? my crappy posts??hehheehe...
And thanks for the nice thing...:)
May 8, 2007 at 12:40 PM
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