Originality = Eccentricity

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Two friends standing in the pathway to the library and I have to pass them if I wanna get to the reading hall .. They chat among themselves and sip their half tea in a small plastic cup .. I have seen them now and they have seen me .. I make an effort to smile at them and my facial muscles fail to coordinate with my brain and my face end up in a bizzare expression which none can name .. I gaze at them as though I have never known them .. They are familiar with me and no enmity exists between them and me .
Then why did my behavioral instincts fail ??
I feel that question is not apt bcoz I never owned those instincts !!


I and my college mates meet every day and yet I rarely talk to them .. I have been reserved to my circle of friends to whom I talk , crack jokes , sing , play and do whatever I wish .. When someone infiltrates my fortress , I get inhibited a lot and remain merely as a dumbo .. I hate to be in such a situation ..
why didnt I develop those social skills of communication ??
bcoz I preferred to be myself preserving my originality ..

A relationship takes a long time to be built for me .. I mean those with all people not those special ones .. For me it takes an era to forge an alliance and once made its stabilized for centuries .. but unfortunately it wanes due to absence of care .. I have gone through a rough phase with almost all my friends and some I have lost them forever and some I managed to win them back ..
Why are my relationships so fragile??
The answer is still to be discovered ..

All these accounts for my eccentricity but I justify it as my originality..

Comments

Amandeep Singh said…
The originality is the most important thing you need to have and yes,preserve it....It doesnt really need justifications..
I can undrstand..I am almost the same in my college...and blive me some ppl hav really hampered my originality..betta preserve it well!!!
April 19, 2007 at 12:56 AM
Jeya Anand said…
Thats good to hear ... :)
April 19, 2007 at 9:32 PM
Incrediblyirrational said…
you don't have to worry. i've felt that many times too. and i have heard people say the same with some kinda depression. i tell them they don't have to be. what counts is not how many friens you make but how many are real friens you are thankful for having. 1 is great because many don't even have one good true friend. they all live in a fake sense of security and a desperate sense of belonging.
April 19, 2007 at 11:34 PM
Ashar said…
Ditto Ditto Ditto!!!

Me too, sailing in the same boat, battling the same current of tide.

There is so much effort in that 'socialising' that many people do it with ease...maybe we ain't meant for that. And quite honestly, I dont feel am losing anything, because that 'forced' feeling is so pathetic..

Sigh..maybe nobody taught us 'people' skills ;)
April 20, 2007 at 10:18 AM
Jeya Anand said…
#Nithya
Its certainly not associated with depression..I am thankful to have a handful of friends..I worried abt my attitude in the past..but not now for sure..

#ashar
Yeah that forced feeling is so pathetic..There ought to be a sense of balance in GODz creation..That deficiency is being equated to other areas ..and i feel nothing is wrong on my part..

Its good to see atleast some ppl of my species..:)
April 20, 2007 at 6:25 PM
N@nc! said…
you should try to read " the thinkers saga" its on my blog a litle part of his book
April 26, 2007 at 3:57 PM
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